The Rant: bachelorette party

Let me start off by saying I hope everyone had a fabulous Easter weekend! I spent all of Sunday surprising my liver with non-alcoholic beverages and trying not to fall over asleep into Easter egg baskets. As you all may know, I had my bachelorette party on Saturday. I hope you all enjoy the grainy phone pics. Let's start with the limo ride there and our arrival to the Palmer House.

All epic things. We popped some champagne as we made our way to the hotel. I have two weeks left as a singleton and I was going to make sure everyone knew about it.

There were chocolate bunnies and eggs as an Easter decoration in the lobby...I was already thinking to myself how I would quite possibly gnaw off the ear of one of those bunnies in a drunken stupor.

We checked in, got to our rooms and started to dress for the occasion.

We wait for the elevator in style.

And take a ridic amount of selfies of course.

My sister went above and beyond to spoil me and I'm forever grateful. She's the best.

We started off with dinner at Lockwood and omg foodgasm. I had the beef filet and I couldn't even handle how amazing the food was.

Right when I thought dinner was heaven...apparently it was only the stairway to heaven because ummm...we ordered a "Chocolate Sphere" and THAT was just a sphere of heaven.

During dinner we came up with some goals to achieve during the night and two of them I know we achieved. I befriended a fellow bachelorette and her party and also had a random dude buy drinks. This fellow dude was in a polo shirt and was a part of a bachelor party. Who the hell wears a checkered polo to a club? Sigh. I didn't know which was worse. The checkered polo club or the Guidos with hair more stiff than my heels. One thing I do know is that my ladies helped me say goodbye to my single life one song and booty shake at a time.

I did so many blowjob shots I thought I was turning 21 again. It was fabulous. One of my leading ladies even won a hula hoop contest on stage like a boss and won a free shot. Yay for free shots! (My liver quivered just typing that out). The next morning I managed to get my ass out of bed and trying to convince myself that I didn't party it down in some sweaty gym locker room the night before. Showering was in order stat. Once we managed to get our bodies moving we loaded up on caffeine and threw ourselves into the limo. Seriously. The aftermath.