Monday, February 16, 2015

Deep Thoughts During 50 Shades of Grey (Pun Intended)

You betcha' I saw 50 Shades of Grey. Who would pass up the opportunity to uncomfortably watch some BDSM action with a crowd of strangers? HA. The bff and I couldn't wait and hilarity undoubtedly ensued. Here are some thoughts I had throughout the experience.

1. Yep, as I thought, 90% of this audience consists of women with kids and are starving to add some spark into their lives.

2. The token men in this audience look really uncomfortable/nervous. Crap, I have to sit next to one of them.

3. Haha, he's spanking her right now...is this really happening? Watching someone spank another...is always awkward.

4.Girl this is a very bad part to walk in front of the screen...can you wait until after Ana is untied from the bed so I can avoid eye contact?

5.Jamie Dornan...you should have done more squats at the gym prior to filming.

6. Dakota Johnson seemingly neglected to shave her upper leg during a scene....how embarrassing...so is this scene.

7. Wow there's so much bush....is Gavin Rossdale going to make an appearance too?

8. Wait, is a plot going to be introduced sometime soon? I'm pretty sure the book at least had a hint of one.

9. I wonder how many people are going to get laid tonight thanks to this film.

10. Yep, this is as awkward as watching a sex scene with your parents. Should I look away? Should I laugh? Should I awkwardly excuse myself until it's over? Oh wait...this will go on throughout the whole movie. Shit.

As crazy as it may have seemed to make a movie based on a bunch of sexy time, the movie raked in $81.7 million on opening weekend. Insane. This could mean several things....A.) There are a lot of closet freaks out there. B.) A lot of people are so bored to death in bed, they need to watch it while eating overly-priced popcorn that will give them indigestion later. Also, I can't wait what my analytics will tell me after I post this.Also, while having lunch with my mother-in-law yesterday, I learned that she too saw it with my father-in-law...shut that convo DOWN.

In other news, Valentine's Day also happened over the weekend and I'm hoping that all of you ladies got plenty of chocolate, flowers and love! My hubs knows me inside and out. This is a huge indicator. (Ice cream sandwiches are the way to my heart. Move over box full of question chocolates.)


We then had amazing Chinese at home while continuing our Friends Netflix marathon. This outweighs waiting to be seated in ANY restaurant for hours despite having a res. NOMS.


 I also took my mom out for a Starbucks date and tried their flat white for the first time. YUM. They added some skinny vanilla syrup in there and it was SO GOOD. Gimme more....




Luigi was judging me all weekend long for seeing 50 Shades of Grey. According to him, he's all the Grey one needs.So much sass....stick that tongue back in that mouth WEEG!


I also registered for the Chicago Half Marathon in September. BRING IT ON. I'm ready for my next one. This will be my running buddy's first half so I of COURSE had to register with her. I'm pumped to get another half under my belt and training during the warmer months!

Did anyone else see 50 Shades this weekend? Please share your thoughts. Hahaha.





8 comments:

  1. Aww love your Valentine's presents, ice cream sandwiches ftw! I've been curious to try the flat white at Starbucks, good to hear it's yummy! We had dinner at home and binge-watching tv on Valentine's night too! It. was. awesome. :)

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  2. Oh no, Jamie has a flat ass in the movie? haha. if you're not gonna give me full frontal at least give me some tasteful backside!

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  3. I didn't see it and I won't until it's on Netflix... just not that pumped. And yes, there are a lot of closet freaks out there. As a somewhat recently divorced single woman I can assure you this is true! I had no idea, but I say whatever works for you!

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  4. Number 7 and 9 are hilarious, this is totally why I am waiting till it comes out on DVD before seeing it. Awkward. Also if you liked 50 Shades read Maya Banks Rush. Very similar but better in my opinion. Congrats on registering for the half, let the training begin!

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  5. Haha I love this. I never read the book & I don't plan on seeing the movie either. Maybe...MAYBE...when it comes out on Redbox but there are so many movies that I actually wanted to see & haven't yet that that one doesn't top my list. You just listed the 10 reason I don't want to see it in the theater haha.

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  6. yay half marathon!
    i never read the books - but your commentary was way better. poor Jamie's butt and Dakota's shaving.. in both areas. Awkward.
    My mother in law and I went to see Magic Mike together... so awkward, never again.

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  7. Too funny. My parents went to see it, and apparently were disappointed (thankfully that's as far as the conversation went). I have no plans to watch it (mainly because I definitely don't want to have that conversation with my mother).

    Glad your Valentine's Day was so good otherwise :)

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  8. "Wow there's so much bush....is Gavin Rossdale going to make an appearance too?" Bahahaahah!

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