Friday Freakout: SELFish Bully

So yesterday I read about how SELF magazine contacted a runner who was wearing a tutu during a race. She didn't know how the photo was going to be used, but just like everyone else, she was flippin' excited and said "sure!" Little did she know, they would bash her for wearing a tutu. It turns out she was wearing a Superwoman outfit complete with her tutu for being a cancer survivor. It motivated her to get through training and to complete this race. She ran a dang marathon WHILE undergoing chemotherapy. Do I really need to pull out the four-letter c-word here for what SELF has done to this poor woman? Yes, I do.

As a runner myself, this is not only offensive because of her personal story conquering her battle with cancer, but because I feel that SELF magazine is being a giant bully. And I don't like bullies. Shove that subscription up your ass, SELF. You can find the full story and details here. It makes me so mad and so sad for this amazing woman to have felt so humiliated.

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But really, I've participated in quite a few races myself, and I think it's all too common for people to just have fun by wearing a costume or whatever else with the daunting task of finishing a race no matter what the distance is. If a tutu gives a runner the momentum to keep going and finish that race, you go girl! Work that damn tutu! Want to wear a cape throughout the whole race? More power to ya! This whole debacle really rubbed me the wrong way. A fitness magazine such as SELF should be all about empowering people who want to lead a healthy lifestyle, not bashing them. I have no time for bullies. And seriously, do your homework, SELF! Usually runners have a reason why they dress up for races! Fricken idiots! She was rocking that tutu for charity. I hope you feel real dumb, SELF.

 

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The editor-in-chief took time out of her day to apologize...if you want to call it that. Really she just hair flips the whole thing and says "oh we didn't know she was a cancer survivor" yeah well really that's an excuse? You can read the the "apology" here. You know what's on the "BS Meter" now?? Your magazine, SELF! I hope you feel like reaallll big jack-holes, SELF. Have fun dealing with the decline in revenue for this really awful snafoo. And ya know what? I'm going to wear a damn tutu in my next race in honor of Monika Allen. If wearing a tutu apparently makes me "lame" according to them, then I want to be lame 100% of the time. Forget about the tutu, what about rolling around in colored dye on the gravel and running through it? Yeah that's me and proud of it. You have one less subscriber, SELF. TGIF!

I embrace my lameness. Come at me, bro!

Cheers to all of you other LAME race participants who wear costumes and other things that make us so high up on SELF's lame meter. I know I'm heated about this topic. Do you participate in runs? How do you feel about this? I feel like going all Tony Montana on their asses, but I'll just stick with this passive aggressive blog post instead.

Friday Freakouts: Bridal Edition

You know what I've learned within the last 24 or so odd months that I've been engaged? Engaged people can be real assholes. It's okay, I can say that since I accept the fact that I can be one of them sometimes. You can protest all you want married/engaged people...but I can almost guarantee that you did or said at least ONE thing that made your family and/or singleton friends contemplate disowning you. If anything, I would say my moment of clarity came when I was arguing with Josh for about 30 minutes regarding a dessert platter for our registry. This seriously happened. In my defense, I was pmsing and there wasn't a chocolate anything to be found. He didn't think having a dessert platter was necessary (of course not, when does he ever make cupcakes?) After that argument and my inner Bridezilla calmed her tits, I sat back and just realized that I've become THAT kind of bride. Oh no, this can't happen.

The following is a list of 24 things I've learned in the past 24 months I've been engaged:

1. Everyone who says they enjoyed planning their entire wedding by themselves....

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2. Singletons tend to become passive aggressive and decide to post "I'm glad I'm single and not married" shit all over their social media accounts. (I know this isn't true for everyone, but boy have I had quite a few encounters).

3. Divorced people treat you like you have a death sentence.

4. Miserable married couples treat you like you need to be saved from said death sentence.

5. I love the idea of planning my wedding, but I really would have loved to hire someone to do all that stuff for me. Because this happens when we find out how much things cost.

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6. It starts out really fun, but several months in, you just want to throw your hands up and say "fuck it" I don't CARE about monogrammed napkins and matching centerpieces.

7. There are way too many terms for types of vases.

8. There are way too many shades of purple.

 
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9. Smaller bridal parties are the way to go.

10. Open up a separate email account for bridal stuff...all of those spam emails will drive you NUTS.

11. People think it's okay to just tell you their opinion about how YOUR married life is going to be...because everyone is exactly the same...

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12. Everyone already planned out when you're having kids. Wait what? Kids? You mean my cats? I already have two, thanks.

13. Everyone WILL judge your wedding down to the guest book. But really, focus on the essentials...

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14. Finding a proper daughter/father dance is going to be one of the hardest tasks.

15. The groom TOTALLY gets off way too easy when it comes to the wedding planning.

16. The minor details will drive you insane.

17. Budget? What budget? Oh the one you said you'd stick to a year ago? Hahahahahahaha.

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18. Finding THE dress is the best part of the wedding planning. Trying on fancy dresses that you'll never have the chance to wear again? Yes please!

19. I'm going to have an identity crisis when I have to change my name.

20. If you've chosen the right bridesmaids, they are THE best hosting wine nights to help you with various bridal tasks.

21. With all of these wedding plans floating around, I can't wait to see it pulled together. Will it be "pulled together?" Oh crap. How will I get through the week before the wedding?

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22. The wedding coordinator at your venue is your saving grace. USE their knowledge!

23. After so many months, you never want to look at another bridal magazine again. You also become an expert judge for TLC's "Say Yes to the Dress."

24. Coming up on less than 50 days until the wedding, you just want to say, "I DO" and live it up wherever you're honeymooning (Barbados in my case!!)

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Now that list makes me look like I hate being engaged, but I really just want to get married to my future hubs already and Paaaarr-teeeeeyyyyy!!! 

We booked the photo booth, ordered place cards and place holders and things for the wedding favors. This weekend Josh and I will be doing the cake tasting too. GREAT just what I need...crazy amounts of cake before my dress appointment next week. Time to double up on my workouts!