So my fiancee and I are on the prowl to rent a condo and might I say, the past two days have been quite a wild ride. I'll start from the beginning. So, just like any other day I looked through the many rental websites including Zillow, Rent.com, Trulia...but then I came across the PERFECT condo...for only $700 a month with utilities included...if you're from the Chicagoland area, you'd be doing backflips and somersaults all over the room if you saw this place. It was a two-bedroom, two-bathroom, 2,200-square-foot condo that was finished to perfection. Stainless steel appliances? Yep. Granite counter tops? Yep. Huge Whirlpool bathtub? Sure! Why not? Because this was such an amazing deal, some red flags were raised in my head, but then I talked myself down from being Ms. Skeptical Investigative Reporter and inquired about the property. I was not prepared for the response I would receive the following day....might I add...the bad grammar was the most annoying thing...(#editorproblems)
Am so sorry for the late respond, I receive your mail indicating your
interest in our home for rent and i hope you are serious about this.
Firstly i will like to share with you about my little family, I am a
Elder and my wife has a private practice as an attorney i am a native of
XXXXX. I and my wife acquired our house few years ago and have
lived happily' As we are approaching retirement,we have decided as
JEHOVAH WITNESSES to spend the rest of our lives in voluntary
services.To spread with gospel of Jehovah and reach out to the less
privilege.This has given us so much joy and fulfillment.Presently we
have been assigned to (WEST AFRICA) to help build the Kingdom Hall and
assist in spreading the living word.However, the initial plan was to
sale out the house which I tried, but sometimes the agents inflates the
prize and it takes longer to sell i am telling you this in case if you
find the house on another website, that is the old advert. because
of this reason my lovely wife advised that we keep it for future
purpose. As it has been a tough decision for us,we require a very
nice,experienced and genuine family to help keep the bond that we have
with our home. so we are renting it out since we need someone to take
good care of the property on our absent.right now we are renting and not
selling but we would like to leave it into a good hand. We want our
property to be well taken good care of, and there are some rules and
regulation in which we do give out to tenant who are willing to rent the
house so please don't disrespect our order but if you are still capable
of renting our house the rules and regulation goes this way, You must
keep our house clean including the surrounding, you must know the way in
which you use the stove so as to avoid fire outbreak, you must not
disturb the neighbor. . Don't be surprise if you find the home with
another site and deference price, We have plan to rent it
through Real estate before, but they are not serious simply because
they have a lot of house to lease out and they added some money to the
rent while there commission is not fair. Have this in mind you must know
the kind of person that I'm nevertheless We are giving you this rules
because of what corresponded between me and our last tenant. the keys
and documents are with us here in (WEST AFRICA)
Attn : The rent are including the Utilities are intact such as
Dishwasher,Dryer, Electric Stove, Fridge, Washer,Air
Condition,Sewage,Trash,all included in the monthly rent,as i am in a
governmental programmer that sponsors my utilities on monthly basis
etc.Please note that, we are a kind and honest family,that
spent a lot on property that is available for rent, so in one accord,we
are soliciting for your absolute maintenance of this house and want you
to treat it as your own.We want you to keep it tidy all the time so that
we shall be glad to see it whenever we are around on a visit.
Here is the Property Description
Bathrooms 2 Bathroom
Monthly Rent : $700 (utilities included)
Security Deposit :$500(Refundable)
Pets Policy : Well Trained Pets are Allowed
Address of the house:
Lease Term : As long as you wished
If you are really interested in renting my home then answer the rental application questions below.
Name (First name/ Middle name/Surname ) : __________?
Phone numbers (home,cell and office line ) # :__________?
How many proposed occupants :__________?
List all in addition to yourself including approx age :__________?
Present Address :__________?
Will you have pets :__________?
Please describe Breed, size :__________?
Personality of pet :__________?
Preferred move in date :__________?
Intended length of lease:__________?
Do you agree to pay the payment before you move in:__________?
How soon can you have the deposit and rent payment sent to me:__________?
Length of previous tenancy :__________?
Present occupation :__________?
Are you a section 8 applicant
Do you work late night :__________?
Do you smoke :__________?
Do you drink :__________?
Now if you're anything like me, this email was followed with a reaction of WTF? But hey, I still wanted to entertain the idea. I'd tell you what my father said, but I fear that it would offend some people...I emailed back and then quickly received a response...which was the final nail in that scammer's coffin....
My wife and I have gone through your application and have found it
satisfactory, so we will say at this point “Congratulations" you are now
our tenant and we want you to always pay your Monthly rental fee on
time to avoid any form of embarrassment. My Secretary will be receiving
the refundable security deposit , paid to her through a wire transfer so
as to secure our home for you and take it off market which
automatically makes no one contact us for the same house you are
renting. i will also be signing on the Lease/Rental Agreement in a hard
copy paper before shipping the keys along with the hard copy paperwork
to your present home address. Can you please re confirm your present
home address? And upon receiving the deposits we will secure our home
for you and take it off market and get the keys shipped to your present
home address along with a tracking # to let you know the exact time you
will be receiving the package. Please do confirm your present
home address by sending it again through the email so that we do not
make mistake when shipping to you. When do you plan moving into our home
when you receive the keys; Let me know immediately so that we can make
arrangement on your move in date. So if you are ready for the payment
below is the payment information so once the payment is made the keys
and document will take place asap to you so you can move in asap..
RE-CONFIRMATION OF THE DELIVERY ADDRESS :
Here are the contents of the document that needs to be sent.
1) Entrance and the rooms Keys
2) Paper/Permanent house form
3) The house documentary file.
4) Full Description of the house
5) Payment Receipt
So once you ready to make the payment below is my information to send
the payment, through Western Union nearest to you. Just go to any
Grocery Store or Outlet near you with this information and send the
payment and i am not too familiar with the area so my secretary will
pick up the money for me while i take care of the shipping...So do get
back to me with your mailing address where The package containing the
keys and documentations of the house will be delivered to you through
Courier Service okay.
Receiver's Name: XXXXX (Secretary)
Address : 23 Isolo Road
TEST QUESTION : GOD BLESS?
ANSWER : AMERICA
As soon as you send the payment from the western union Transfer, you
would be given some information. You would have to get back to me with
1. Full Sender's Name And Address Including Zip Code:
2. M.T.C.N Numbers:
As soon as i confirms the payment, I will send the necessary document
and keys of the house to you through FEDEX and get back to you with the
Tracking number and the arrival time of the document and the keys.
NOTE: THE SECURITY DEPOSIT IS FULLY REFUNDABLE IN-CASE YOU DON’T LIKE THE HOUSE.
Please note that the deposit made is fully refundable should in case you
finally gain entrance into the house after receiving the keys and
documents and feel unsatisfied or uncomfortable with the interior,but i
am giving you a benefit of doubt that you will love everything about
this lovely and beautiful home and is ready for move in.The deposit will
be refunded in less than 24 hours after you request for it..You are
advices to act fast on this so you don't loose the house to other
interested applicants...Give me a call as soon as possible.
Thanks and Remain Blessed.
You are welcome to our lovely home.
Now after initially reading this, I let out a resounding, "are you fucking kidding me?" As my heart sank and my brain let out a, "I told you, idiot." Mind you we haven't even seen this place and he's thinking we're just going to wire $500 to fricken Nigeria? Do I have "Fucking Moron" stamped to my forehead? The sad thing is that some naive people out there would have fallen for their shenanigans. And in response to this, he will not "confirms a payment" from me and no, I will not head to my local grocery store to make any such payment. They've messed with the wrong blonde! Until then, I'll just sulk with my cat about this ridiculousness and make sarcastic remarks about how awful some of these acceptance speeches are for the Golden Globes. (Luigi is even more pissed than I am, that second bedroom was going to be his and Apollo's).