Friday, April 11, 2014

Five on Friday: What's In A Name?

The wedding planning has been so exciting even though it has both its highs and lows. Picking out pretty flowers, finding THE dress, being surrounded by your family and future in-laws that (in my case) are absolutely flipping amazing and caring people and ultimately knowing that you are one step closer to spending the rest of your life with your one and only! However...there is one thing that I am having issues with and not a fan of...and that is changing my name. There are many reasons why I'm having issues with this...

+ It's my identity!!! For the past 26 years I've had my last name...it's who I am. I feel like by changing it, I'm losing a part of myself. Sure it sounds silly, I mean jeez it was no easy feat learning how to spell that flippin' long name when I was a little ankle biter. What the hell, how am I going to do this?


+My parents never had any boys to carry on the family name...and I was the closest thing my dad had to a son. (Hell if my mother could get me to go shopping, wear a dress or do anything outside of sports and spend time with my dad in his workshop).  My how times have changed...

+ I'm the last lady on my dad's side of the fam to change her name. I feel like it's the end of some kind of weird era that I need to keep going by keeping my maiden name...it's mine all mine!


+ As a writer, I feel like I'd be losing not only my personal identity, but my professional one as well! All of my sweet award plaques and portfolio is riddled with my maiden name. I'll feel like I'm a secret CIA agent who is now living a new life under an alias. Okay well...that does sound kind of cool...

+ I'll have to change my email and EVERYTHING else. I have problems getting my effing car in for a regular oil change, how the hell is it going to go with me actually going through all of the trouble with changing all of these legal documents and such? And the email...oh the email...Josh will know how to handle this situation at least....


I'm comforted knowing that Josh does understand my issues with changing my name, he doesn't take offense at all. It's not like I'm ashamed of his last name or anything. It has nothing to do with that, I just have all of these selfish reasons going on...but I'll get over them. Hyphenating my name is absolutely out of the question too. I have trouble fitting my whole name on receipts as it is....

I've done my research and apparently you can opt to have your maiden name become a second middle name. Soooo I'm technically not completely dropping my last name, and I am comforted knowing that it's still there. Happy dance.


AND today marks the day before Josh and I embark on our little getaway from all of the stress and craziness! Hallelujah! TGIF!!




18 comments:

  1. i didn't even think about changing my last name; i knew how much was involved and legit looked at my husband and said: i'm way too lazy to do any of that shit so i'm keeping my last name ok? didn't even wait for him to respond because that was the end of that conversation LOL

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  2. OMG I felt EXACTLY the same was as you when I got married!! I felt like I was kinda losing myself if I changed my name and I was the last person on my dad's side so when I change my last name my last name ends with my parents :( I actually never changed my last name and the hubs was ok with it so that made it easier! Maybe one day when I have children but for now I'm keeping it :)

    <3, Pamela
    sequinsandseabreezes.blogspot.com

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    1. Josh is being super understanding too! It definitely helps :). Having the same last name as my future kids is definitely a HUGE factor and helps with my decision to change it!

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  3. I personally couldn't wait to get rid of my last name because it was WAY too long, annoying to pronounce and just never fit on anything. I also never perfected my signature. My new last name isn't my favorite in the world but it's much shorter so I am thrilled. Changing it was a pain in the ass though and I still have yet to change any credit cards or student loans and even write checks with my maiden name still on them. . . thankfully the world is pretty accommodating to the lazy ones, like myself.

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    1. Taking Josh's last name will definitely mean a shorter signature! And I'm sure it'll take me forever and a day to officially change everything over to my new name!

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  4. i hear changing the name after the wedding is the most annoying part of all the planning and wedding stuff. good luck!

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  5. My bf knows I'm keeping my last name. I've worked way too hard to get where I am professionally and it just really wouldn't make any sense. I think you and your man should just do what's best for you. If you want to keep your name just keep it. It doesn't mean you love that person any less. Or you could always be one of those crazy couples that invents a new last name. My Mom also moved her last name to her middle name when she got married. A lot of women in my family did that so it's a nice option too.

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    1. Exactly! I do know that I'll change my name, but I feel like I won't be completely losing myself if I add it on as a second middle name :). I had no idea you could do that before!

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  6. I'm going to miss my last name. I've ALSO not dated guys solely on the fact that their last name sucked or rhymed with something bad. #truelife #singleforever

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  7. I totally get where you're coming from. I won't be changing my name when the time comes. I'm going to hyphenate it. I feel like, like you said, it's been your identity your whole life - why give that up? But also, the "new" name will be part of your "new" identity. So, I like the idea of combining them both TOGETHER. :)

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  8. Changing your last name is such a pain in the ass! It took me months to get everything straightened out! I felt weird not changing it though. I guess it is old fashioned, but felt like I needed to do it. I am like you, my parents had no sons and my dad was an only child so the line stopped with my sister and I. BUT my last name was not going to be carried on anymore after me anyways....so I figure why worry about it. I dropped a few letters so now my name fits on more things!

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  9. This is such an interesting perspective because I can't wait to change my name :)!! Xx.

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  10. Oh boy, I remember changing my last name! I was sad to lose my old one, but super happy to have Will's last name. For awhile I just hyphenated it, but eventually I was able to let go.

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  11. My last name rhymes with a male body part so I have no problems changing mine, but I totally get where you are coming from, you have had it so long.

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  12. This name changing thing is such a real struggle. I got married last August, and only finally changed my name in February because my insurance company flagged me as a fraudulent when they couldn't get a match on my legal name.

    What I'm saying is (and the good news is) nobody really makes you get your name changed pronto. You can pretend that you're going to to do it "nexxxxt Saturday" for a solid couple of months. Just watch out for the insurance company. They'll find you.

    Quick fun story -- My parents hate me, so my first and maiden last name rhymed. They seriously, really, actually rhymed. After 25 years, that just sort of rolls off the tongue, so even though I've been married for nearly a year, I still routinely introduce myself as Jenn Ten. Ay-yi-yi.

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  13. i was the kid who raised her hand during the awkward pause in attendance on the first day of school bc i knew the teacher was struggling with my name... it was worse when they had my older brother because he'd just let them guess at it, then wouldnt correct their pronunciation! Tho my bf's name isn't uncommon by any stretch of the imagination, he's the only male grandchild (as of now, there's an unknown baby due in July) so their particular strain might end with him if we don't have boys!

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  14. I couldn't wait to change my last name, but I will admit, sometimes I do miss it :) :)

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  15. That's what I did - made my maiden name my second middle name, so it's still legally tucked in there and I can use it whenever I want! I am all for that option.

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