Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Hump Day Confessions

I'm so excited, I just might throw up. I'm linking up with Kathy to confess this week!

So let's get started....

+ I've been mournng The Mindy Project for weeks and it's FINALLY back! I couldn't handle the withdrawals anymore. I laughed myself to tears.

+ I participated in a 90-minute warrior power boxing class and wanted to punch the trainer in the face when he said "only 10 more rounds." Freaking kidding me? Do you see the puddle of sweat around my bag? A baby duck could swim in it! Sweating for the wedding, bitches.

+ People who think leggings are pants. This one never gets old. I don't care if you have an ass and legs of steel, YOU CANNOT WEAR LEGGINGS AS PANTS. If I can see the curvature of your ass, that is NOT okay. Don't make me throw up my latte.

+ I just saw Frozen and the soundtrack has been playing nonstop in my car with the windows down...and no there aren't any children in the car to make this mildly acceptable at my age...sorry not sorry.

+ Anyone who has a power trip (especially at work) and thinks they now own you...I'm sorry, who made you King of the Pride Lands? Calm your shit, you're not Mufasa. We're co-workers and you're not impressing anyone with your shenanigans.

+ I didn't even finish ONE book last month...this is a problem. I have to start chopping away at my stack of books...or should I say STACKS of books...I'm such a book hoarder. I blame the wedding planning.

+ I'm starting to hate Facebook. My newsfeed is now filled with baby announcements, birth play-by-plays and more baby news. Sure a few photos are fine, but since I'm constantly being bugged about starting a family of my own, it makes me want to scream. Since when did 26 start to mean that my ovaries are drying up any day now? I've got time...I'm still too busy saying "fuck" whenever I want and drinking one too many glasses of wine in the safety of my own home without having to worry about anyone else.

+ I'm really happy I didn't waste nine years of my life watching How I Met Your Mother....from all of the moaning and groaning about the finale, I wouldn't have been happy and there is nothing worse than a bad ending.

+ The wedding is 30 days away and I found out that I needed to find a replacement officiant. Thank sweet baby Jesus that I have some connections to make this all possible so I don't crawl into the fetal position and cry myself to sleep.

+ I just read that freakin' O-Town (the D-list of boy bands) is reuniting....NSYNC COME ON ALREADY.

+ I pretty much cried when I found out that Chelsea Handler is not going to renew her contract with E! after nine glorious years of Chelsea Lately.

 + I get too much of a kick out of celebrity gossip....and Kim Kardashian's cry face. I always knew that elephants were the greatest.

+ It's my dad's birthday and I will forever be a daddy's girl despite me getting married in 30 DAYS. Yes, I said it again. Happy birthday, Daddio!!!

What are you confessing today??


  1. hahahahh these confessions were hilarious!

    bitches on power trips at work? AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FO' DAT. the last time someone tried to pull that shit on me, i legit laughed in their face and said "yeah, try again". also: resting bitch face helps a lot. you're welcome.

    thanks for linking up!

    -kathy | Vodka and Soda

  2. STOP. this is hilarious. all of the above!!!
    Leggings as pants manke me want to vom everywhere and I am also glad I didn't waste 9 years of my life on how i met your mother.waste.of. time if you ask me!

  3. Hey Emily!! Oh gosh totally with ya sista! These FB feeds of pregnancy and such makes me want to barf. For reeealzz. And I for some reason never got into HIMYM (thank god). My bf did and I saw the last 5 minutes of the finale. My heart goes out to everyone who has watched the last 9 seasons. And the KK photo made my day yesterday, I couldn't stop looking at the prices photos. That elephant rocks. xo


  4. It's been a while since I picked up a book. Can't force it though!

  5. Hahaha I love the leggings as pants rant-- one of my biggest pet peeves! Adorable blog girl!

    Xo, Amanda

  6. Ugh I see WAY too many people trying to wear leggings as pants and I just want to smack them upside the head and tell them to go put some clothes on!

    Facebook pisses me off too. The baby ecard is perfect!!!! Why does everyone look at me like I am crazy when I say we may not have one at all? It is none of your damn go away with your screaming child and have fun not going out and doing what you want this weekend! Sheesh!

    I watched HIMYM for years now....and yes....I am angry, mad, sad and disappointed all in one. Be VERY glad!

  7. Dear Lord these confessions are awesome! I was laughing so hard and I'm at co-workers definitely know I am not currently working. I take a Barre class and the instructor always makes comments like "can you believe you signed up and paid to be in this much pain?!" and then she laughs...I think the laugh gets me more than anything. I seriously just want to trip her whenever she walks by and then laugh! I haven't been on facebook and I'm not going on it anytime soon because of all of the wedding, baby, breaking up BS I see on there everyday.

  8. ahhh only 30 days til you're wedding! exciting but stressful too i'm sure :) and i'm behind on watching my dvr shows but love the mindy project. and that dance by danny was the best thing ever.

  9. I totally wished that elephant had pulled her hair out! Chelsea makes me sad :(

  10. INSTANTLY I love that your blog is named "The Rant". That's rant-astic!

    You have a great sense of humor - I don't even know what to comment on except happy daddy birthday and I'm following your pretty face now on Bloglovin'!

    Watch out for those raining assholes <3

  11. O-TOWN?! I haven't thought of them in years.... who knew! Also, I confess (I can confess in the comments, right?) the only episode I've ever seen of the mindy project is on an airplane-- but I keep hearing about it in blogland, so I'm thinking maybe I should check it out from the beginning?

  12. I think I really need to start watching the Mindy Project, I loved her on the office! And ... I was behind this young chick and her old husband in the grocery a few days ago and she had leggings (see thru as hell cheap ones) on as pants with... hold on.... 5 inch heels. Vomit. It was horrible. I wanted to say "hey do you know your leggings are totally see thru?" so bad. Maybe people don't realize?

  13. I was overjoyed to see The Mindy Project again, too! I love how they're handling the Mindy/Danny relationship. And I thought the "what's a BBW?" convo was hilarious. Such a great show! Also, 100% agree on the leggings thing. That needs to stop.

  14. I literally shed a small tear inside over Chelsea Lately ending too! Mostly because I didn't grab tickets to her overly priced stand up at the Fox this spring or pre-order her new book like I typically do and now I'm afraid she wont ever come back!! I love that wench. Also, don't stress over wedding shit, at this point there is like NOTHING you can do about anything that will drastically make a huge difference and trust me when I say this, 3 days later it doesn't F'ing matter. Hell a month later you wonder why you spent all the damn money in the first place! I loved my wedding day but it was complete and utter chaos and I would trade an elopement on a beach in a heart beat! Also - I never watched HIMYM Either and was completely confused by the "#HIMYM" Hashtags on Monday. I thought it was like a new Yoga pose at first so I was kinda intrigued, then I kept seeing it on my twitter feed and came to the conclusion it was something much less important. And I don't even love Yoga, I just kinda like it so far. . . . I still haven't had a chance to see Frozen and I have a 2 year old. #BadMother. I really have to get on it, everyone keeps talking about how amazing it is. Lastly, don't feel bad about the baby BS. I got pregnant unexpectedly and even felt sorry for myself for the first , 8-9 months. It's nothing to rush in to and you've got plenty of time, just hide the moms from your newsfeed. Hell I do it to half of them too . . . makes me feel younger! #AgainHorribleMom. But seriously, I love being a mom and don't think the pressure stops once you get pregnant. Now all I hear about is when I'm having a second. Can I just get control of this freight train that call life for a hot second people?!? #Relax.

    1. I am SO sad about Chelsea's show!! But hahaha that's hilarious about the hashtags. You should definitely see Frozen with your kid! It's a great movie. :) I think a lot of people just always have something to say about how you're living your life no matter what you do lol.

  15. Maybe if Kim K wasn't so into herself and taking selfies all the time the elephant wouldn't have attacked. Elephants no likey selfies, Kim! I know what you mean about the whole Facebook baby boom. There is one at my work too. I'm avoiding drinking the water there. What a perfect ecard. I couldn't have said it better myself! There needs to be an *NSYCN reunion. I went to 3 of their concerts when I was younger. I was obsessed. Still would be. Not way JT would ever do it. 30 days to your wedding?! Awesome!!!

    ~Ashley @ A Cute Angle

  16. the block feature on facebook is my best friend :)

  17. I love the Mindy Project! I did watch HIMYM for 9 years and it was a great show but the whole thing was ruined with the finale (I'm still mad about it).

  18. I haven't ever watched the mindyourmadness project, but a lot friends seem to really like it!! I love celeb gossip :) great confessions!! I can't believe Chelsea Lately is ending... So sad!!

  19. Eeek I do have to confess I wear workout pants all the time. The tight ones. Guilty as charged! But you won't ever have to see my butt and throw up your latte :-P

  20. haha do you read Buzzfeed?? I wish The Mindy Project was on Netflix so I could watch it cause I've never seen it before.

  21. The Frozen soundtrack is amazeballs! I seriously love it. I was singing it earlier. And yeah, HIMYM did suck. Such a crap ending.

  22. The O-Town news cracked me up, though I admit that I did love them during Making the Band! And I love the Aaliyah dance gif. I watched that episode on a plane and grinned from ear to ear the whole time - so perfect! And I talked about my eh feelings with Facebook today, too. So done with it!

  23. OMG Pete was telling me about the OTown reunion yesterday and I almost SHIT my PANTS!!!! *fangirl*

  24. Frozen is the best!! I love Olaf!!! :)